Just 21...

I'm actually pretty annoyed at the fact that when I was 15 years old I had to choose my high school subjects,  I had to decide what career path I would pursue when I turned 17 and went on to University. I'm pretty pissed off that such a heavy, hectic almost life defining decision was expected of my 15 year old self. I barely even knew what I really liked or enjoyed, simply because the discovery of what we like or don't like comes from trying things out. At 15 I hadn't tried enough things. I was even just getting to know my body, so messed up.

Here I am, 21 years old and I hit a light bulb, four years into university I finally feel like I know where I should be headed. WOW!! I felt like I had no clue of who I am because I was so overwhelmed and almost looking to one thing to sort of define my world. It's rather insane, if I'm made in the image of an infinite God it means there's so much to me, I'm 21 years old and I don't have it all figured out and that is so okay. Was chatting with friends and we got to the discovery that one would have to be shallow to have all that there is to them worked out at 21, or can describe themselves in three words, lol. I mean the things that are expected of us really?! So I'm cutting myself some slack, I'm alive and it's an incredible gift and everyday is a discovery, adventure, lesson, everyday we find out a bit more about ourselves.

Waiting...

So I'm reading a book called "Remember the Roses" it's about waiting on God's best, marrying the man of your dreams. I haven't even gotten half way but I'm hectically challenged. The author Lynette Lewis talks about her journey leading to being married only at 40...yup that's right at the big 40. Now we had heard a sermon she gave relating to the same matter. In the sermon I assumed she like didn't date at all leading to dating only the man that she would marry. Okay maybe my thinking was a bit ambitious but I did not expect that she would have gone on 65 blind dates.

I was led to then question what waiting on God means. What does it mean vele? I know it's not passive mara I think it matters what we get busy doing while we waiting. I mean I know that God can take whatever route He wants in teaching lessons and refining our characters and stuff but 65 blind dates? no judgement, but that's just deep.
So the thing is how we do everyday should be led by God, we should at any given moment be busy doing the latest thing He's told us to do, so while we waiting we are busy with that. So maybe we can say waiting on God is doing what He's telling you to do and not moving based on anything else but the voice of God. So if we gonna say Lynette waited on God, we are saying that she heard God before every single date, telling her to go in and then heard God at the end of each one telling her to let go. Hectic!! My mind cant wrap itself around that possibility.

shoo...I'm still chewing on it hey.