A couple of things I've realized...
Effort will get anyone a long way in relationships. People just want to know that they are a priority in your life. It's not about moving mountains and being overly out there in your love expressions, it's really just to show that you actually just plain and simple, care.
I was wondering why it is that there are people in my life that I don't have to see often for us to keep the fire burning, then there are those that when absent it seems they are absent from my life. I mean...a text, a tweet, a facebook post...something to say that somewhere in your universe people still exist.
Another really useful thing is to call things for what they are even when they sound messed up. There's this thing that we do as people. We try to package manure in pretty little boxes covered in lace and pretty ribbons. Trouble is manure stays manure even when sugar coated. The stench will hit you even through that.
When doing "otherwise" things knowingly and truthfully it's kinda like having a hangover the morning after a night out drinking. It's a price you know you gonna have to pay for a good time. Lying and playing dumb about the effects of alcohol for example doesn't make the hangover not happen, it just breaks your heart. So lying about the action doesn't make the consequences any less of what they'll be in any case.
One last thing...ask questions. You are not psychic, even if you're prophetic. Instead of deciding to be hurt by what someone said or did ask them what they actually intended. I'm not suggesting that you down play your hurt feelings. However in the same way that we all want to be judged for our intentions we should allow people a chance to explain theirs.
Ohh the real last thing...Don't play victim...tjuuu! People go as far with you as you allow (with the exception of things done to you at gun point) however you end up being treated is the things you've allowed. People aren't crazy, we all push boundaries and if people end up walking on your head (wrong as they are) you've either actively or passively contributed, so take responsibility and make some changes in the things you allow.
Monday, 26 August 2013
Friday, 2 August 2013
Open-Mindedness of children.
In a lot of my spare time I read quotes and decide what book by whom I'd like to read next based on that. I came across a quote by Brennan Manning...
“If we maintain the open-mindedness of children, we challenge fixed ideas and established structures, including our own. We listen to people in other denominations and religions. We don't find demons in those with whom we disagree. We don't cozy up to people who mouth our jargon. If we are open, we rarely resort to either-or: either creation or evolution, liberty or law, sacred or secular, Beethoven or Madonna. We focus on both-and, fully aware that God's truth cannot be imprisoned in a small definition. ”
― Brennan Manning
I got stuck at "...we don't find demons in those with whom we disagree. We don't cozy up to people who mouth our jargon..." It is incredibly easy to do that. Shux! That silly human desire for comfort. God isn't intimidated by anything, not a thought, not a question. Sometimes we put on this 'know it all' thing out and that thing makes this beautiful God unattractive. We make Christianity look like this difficult thing, where we make it look like you need to earn your keep, bombarding people with what we think we know. I've found things to make the most sense in spaces where I've made a thing about just God and I. When I'm more concerned with what God thinks and not what people think. Don't get me wrong, people and relationships are great but we need to be very clear on the voice we follow. When it's all said and done there will be no pointing of fingers, we just need to get into a habit of making decisions based on our own conclusions. A lesson I'm also still learning, to not put on God the error of people. That will only leave us bitter and resenting God for things He never said or required of us.
"...God's truth cannot be imprisoned by a small definition..."
“If we maintain the open-mindedness of children, we challenge fixed ideas and established structures, including our own. We listen to people in other denominations and religions. We don't find demons in those with whom we disagree. We don't cozy up to people who mouth our jargon. If we are open, we rarely resort to either-or: either creation or evolution, liberty or law, sacred or secular, Beethoven or Madonna. We focus on both-and, fully aware that God's truth cannot be imprisoned in a small definition. ”
― Brennan Manning
I got stuck at "...we don't find demons in those with whom we disagree. We don't cozy up to people who mouth our jargon..." It is incredibly easy to do that. Shux! That silly human desire for comfort. God isn't intimidated by anything, not a thought, not a question. Sometimes we put on this 'know it all' thing out and that thing makes this beautiful God unattractive. We make Christianity look like this difficult thing, where we make it look like you need to earn your keep, bombarding people with what we think we know. I've found things to make the most sense in spaces where I've made a thing about just God and I. When I'm more concerned with what God thinks and not what people think. Don't get me wrong, people and relationships are great but we need to be very clear on the voice we follow. When it's all said and done there will be no pointing of fingers, we just need to get into a habit of making decisions based on our own conclusions. A lesson I'm also still learning, to not put on God the error of people. That will only leave us bitter and resenting God for things He never said or required of us.
"...God's truth cannot be imprisoned by a small definition..."
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