In My Head by Sabby

If life could be reduced to a program with 10 steps I wonder where Im at

My mother board fails me sometimes

I loose all the saved files

I loose lessons learnt through experience...

Danger I say, I only end up in the same mess...

Leaves me with no option but to start over

Its never easy, there's always that aspect that I want to ignore

I hit the back button but really just end up in a different kind of mess

I try keep it to myself

But it happens to just get out...

I care a lot I suppose...

I care about what Im thought of

I dont want to care because Jesus set me free

Free from useless and worthless notions

He set me free even from the graves I dig myself...

Oh controller of my natural system...

I see even when Im blind, I hear even when Im deaf, I speak even when Im silent, I have done it even when it remains undone, Its over even when its only beginning.

Oh controller of my natural system...

Let me help you...

Let me decide what is fed to you..

Let me know when its done and when it isnt...

Let me believe the truth and deny that which is not...

Let me exist in reality...

Oh controller of my system..

Let me pull together in happiness, in peace...

Let Jesus take His place...

Oh controller of my system...

I set you free...

I think that the biggest thing is not where we end up, I think what matters most is whether or not people's lives are changed by our presence, wherever that might be. I think we get too caught up in deciding what we should study, where we should end up working more than necessary. The question we really should be asking ourselves is if the kingdom is advancing. The coolest thing is that mistakes in God aren't a big deal. Mistakes, not disobedience, don't get me wrong. As in if I thought that going to Orange Bees was the right thing to do and I went and discovered later that I think I should have gone to Yellow Zebras, I think what matters most is how I touched lives and advanced the Kingdom while I was at Orange Bees, more than the fact that I should be at Yellow Zebras. 

Is the Kingdom of God advancing where I am?

I was just reminded of how much I just hate systems, I cant stand them, I actually feel trapped. Especially the school one, where I have to think like the guy who wrote the text book, a place where I'm basically not allowed to think or create new ways or approaches to things, Its a rule that someone made and it was chosen to be the standard and we keep quite and take it in silence.
I dont believe that I'm born with knowledge but I believe that I'm born with an ability to create, which gets quenched as people grow up. A child in preschool for example if he paints the dog yellow, he is firstly mocked by his peers for being "strange" then encouraged to use browns and blacks by the teacher, because thats how everyone sees the dog to be. From a very young age this child is not encouraged to share his view on the yellow dog, or why he sees it that way, he doesn't have a chance lest he gets out of the box.
I think that we are terrified of difference more than change
I think that we cringe, look down upon, reject and shun difference because we are terrified
We feel safe when things or people are different variations of what we know and have seen before...
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT...DARE TO CREATE...That we will all tap into that element that makes us the people that we are, that thing that make me, me.

God created difference and He likes it, what did we miss???

So I'm almost 21 and I was having a bit of a moment, lol. I was thinking of the many people who've touched my life, so many people who've contributed either their entire lives or a few seconds to my life and just how God has used all of my experiences for my good, wow!!! my life is in His hands. Then I was thinking, my mom wanted to have a traditional 21st for me, as in big white tent in the yard vibe, well more my mom's friend than her, lol. But I said no, I actually just realized that I said no not only because I think its just super ghetto but I also wonder what is there about me to celebrate?! Like I don't feel as though I'm at a place in my life where entire parties should be thrown. God digs me though! He says that I don't have to do anything, He'll throw a feast for me, an entire feast...So Im gonna have a Happy Birthday...

Curled up in a big room by Sabby

Not daring to move more than the involuntary shivers in my body, curled up in a big room, not persuaded by the sounds of my heart that beats violently in my chest, curled up in a big room, not shaken by the echo of my breath as I gasp and take in air to keep the soul in the flesh...curled up in a big room, not questioning the motives of the ones that dare to stand outside and stare into my big room, curled up in a big room I don't attempt to walk, the thought of running is hard to comprehend, curled up in my big room, so much untouched space, so much untried grounds, I have no idea how fertile the grounds are, I have no idea just how far it goes, no idea how loud the echo gets, no idea how much impact in my curled up state I have...

Then He walks in, in to my space and I won't dare look, oh no, lest He rescues me, He walks in, I won't touch Him lest His Spirit crawls into mine, He holds me...for a second I allow a love so peaceful to fill my heart, just for a moment I allow freedom to be in my midst, in my curled up state He picks me up and all He wants is to show me the beauties I've watched others enjoy from the outside, the lovely sounds I've ignored and perhaps was scared of, He says look, look at what I see and I dare look...I look and He changes me for good, and never leaves my side...holding my hand as we explore the big room...a curled up state now unattractive...He showed up...and only His voice could reach my eardrums and only his hand could count as touch and only His eyes could cut right through me leaving me with no more excuses, in my big room He came...He took my hand and changed my life...

I just had one of those evenings where I felt a literal change in my life, like my life is changed. It hit me today more than any other day that I'm surrounded by great people, awesome people, awesome in its true definition, like I'm literally left in awe of just how God is on our side. God is for us. God is making all things work together for our good. There is just no way I'm not great, like I cant not be, no ways!!!

Quotes from a friend's farewell dinner:


"Relationships aren't disposable"

"Freedom makes those without it feel uncomfortable"

"We believe that the truth will be the norm"

"In light of the fact that all things work together for good, its ridiculous that we hesitate"

WOW!!!

Isaiah 40:31

Amplified (AMP)

But those who wait on the Lord (who expect, look for and hope in Him) shall change and renew their strength and power, they shall lift their wings and mount up (close to God) as eagles (mount up to the sun), they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not fain or become tired.

Music to me

When I don’t understand it, I sing it. When it’s too painful to say, I hum it. When I don’t feel like talking, I play it. Music is my big deal. It speaks to me, it’s worth it for me. Music goes to areas words can’t, it speaks in a manner only known by music. Music surprises me sometimes, its diversity and endless variation, it excites me. Music fills the cracks sometimes, eliminates awkward vibes sometimes, and fills a silent room with hope. Music is a voice that can’t be ignored, music is humanity’s common ground. Music unites. Music colours, music are music. music makes sense, MUSIC IS MY BIG DEAL.

-Sabelo Mokgehle-

This is a summary of a book my mother and aunt had me read when I was about 14 years old. It changed my perspective on money in general. lessons I still use today. 

The Richest Man In Babylon

_George S. Clason

 

Like the laws of gravity these laws of money are universal and unchanging.

The man who desired gold

Bansir was a man who lived in Babylon. Babylon was a city with all sorts of people, from stinking rich to the worst pauper. Bansir built chariots for a living, He had a friend named Kobbi who was a musician. Bansir had realise that he had been working hard with no proper reward, he desires to be a man of means, own cattle, land, fine robes and have coins in his purse. The good thing from all that Bansir desired was that he was willing to work hard to acquire them.

Both Bansir and Kobbi had similar problems, their income would never be sufficient and they did not want their children to follow in their footsteps. During a conversation they mentioned that they had been working all their lives and have not acquired gold and they suggested that they should seek help from those that are rich. Arkad, an old friend of theirs helped them realise that a man’s wealth is not measured by the fatness of his purse because a fat purse quickly empties if there is no fixed income to refill it.

Bansir and Kobbi realised that they had been without gold in the midst of plenty and they concluded that the reason they never had gold was that they never sought for it. With new understanding they shall find new ways to acquire the gold they desire.

The richest man in Babylon

Arkad was a man known for his wealth across Babylon and neighbouring cities, his wealth increased every year it appeared as though the more he spends the more his wealth increases. His childhood friends came to him for advice and asked him how he does it as they underwent the same teachings, he never worked harder and was always on the same level as they were. Arkad answered them saying, if you haven’t learnt anything during our youth is because you failed to learn the laws that govern the building of wealth or just haven’t observed them. He went on to say that during his youth he realised that wealth was power and with it a lot of things are possible. He told them that he knew that for that to be acquired time and study was necessary. He said that everybody had time in abundance and that there were two kinds of learning, the one kind being things we learn and know and the other being training that teach us to find out things we don’t know. A man he worked for in his youth advised Arkad and said that he had decided that a part of all he earned was his to keep. That was enough to change the heart of a sheep herder to a money lender.

The man told him that in order to be wealthy he needed to pay himself, by means of saving a tenth of what he earned and not less but rather more if he could afford it. Arkad had managed to save a tenth of his income for twelve months and unfortunately was falsely advised by a brick maker and spent his savings in vain. Advise is freely given away but one should take only what is worth having. Arkad had learnt to live upon less than he could earn, then you learnt to look for advice in the right place and lastly have made your gold work for you. The system is simple: work for gold so that gold may work for you.

Opportunity wastes no time with those who are unprepared. When you set tasks for yourselves you must complete them. Make sure you invest your treasure with greatest caution i.e. plant your seed in a fertile soil that you may reap a great harvest. Ask advice from people who know about money and who know what they are talking about. A small return and a safe one is more desirable than risk. Live life according to your income and never try to save more than you can afford to as this will leave you frustrated.

Navigation By Sabelo Mokgehle

 

So aimlessly she walks about

So effortlessly she manages to get by

Ignorant to the world around her

Easily blow away by the wind of human character

Disappointment, hurt, hate even love...

Easily misled by her apparent experiences and uncovered visions

Lost even with directions, guided by the map in her head

Hands in everything, she is yet to discover who she is...

Anything and everything with God in mind...

She stutters at the questioning of her desires

She knows not what

She knows not how

Anything and everything with God in mind...

She hopes and often prays that somehow it will work out

A vision burns within her...a strong sense of belonging

She begins to question not her fellow man...

She drinks from the Well from which we all draw strength...

She begins to walk with purpose...

Anything and everything with God in mind...

Negative emotions now lessons...

Head held high, who she is called to be begins to surface...

What she loves, she now is aware

Still work in progress...Oh what safe hands she's in...

Anything and everything with God in mind...

Worship...

YOU ARE SPECIAL

my friend Rebby was like "This "everyone is special" talk has been watered down" I couldn't agree with her more. I mean there has even been some notions that if we are all special then that means we aren't really. Lauryn Hill in her Unplugged talks about how she doesn't believe that it's possible that an infinite God who created everyone to be different would expect everyone to be the same. I looooove that.


God created variety and He can't run out of ideas because He is infinite (((BOOM))), so we have really down played the the truth that is in the statement "you are special" It's loaded with soooo much truth. We really are, don't know much Biology but Rebby is like "you are one out of a million variations of kids your parents could have conceived" so like seriously. God talks about knowing us before we were even conceived bra, how hectic is that?? need I say more!? You are special, believe it and make it yours

On a show Oprah did of twin girls who were molested close to everyday for almost 7 years by their father and brothers, she defined forgiveness as: letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different. jooo!!! makes a lot of sense, the bitterness and resentment comes from that hope, the continuous feeling that the people who've wronged us could have been different people or they could have acted differently or treated us differently, that hope is the issue. Then she went on to say that it doesn't mean you have to allow the people back into your life or that you now have to be friends.

google pic

I guess we are at a place were we've truly forgiven when the people or situation no longer has a baring over our lives, when we no longer make decisions from that place of hurt or whatever other negative emotions the situation brings in us, true forgiveness is when we are free from the past.

I found this to be very interesting.

For Limp or Fine Hair

To add body to hair, reach for an unlikely beauty beverage: beer! The fermented drink contains generous supplies of yeast, which works to plump tired tresses, explains Cox.

To Use: Mix 1/2 cup flat beer (pour beer into a container and let it sit out for a couple of hours to deplete carbonation) with 1 tsp light oil (sunflower or canola) and a raw egg. Apply to clean, damp hair, let sit for 15 minutes, then rinse with cool water. Or add flat beer only to a spray bottle and spritz onto dry hair. "When the liquid evaporates, the remaining protein residue (from the wheat, malt or hops) continues to strengthen and structure hair," says Belkin. Treatments can be applied every other week.

Photo by Shutterstock.

Read more: Homemade Hair Treatments - At Home DIY Hair Treatments - Woman's Day 

So this "The Hunger Games" movie got me thinking. How insane do I need to be with the person that I am, that when death is staring me in the face all I care about is protecting that??? Just how mad do I need to be with the person that I am?? wow!!! 
I mean this means I should absolutely be cray cray about myself, my morals, my values, my choices, I need to be mad about myself.