Don't be afraid to change your mind...

With the coming out of the last of the Twilight movies I decided to watch all of them again. In Eclipse, Bella's friend Jessica makes this speech at graduation:


 "When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess. When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?! This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that'. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won't have to guess. We'll know."

For a lot of us, we are born into families that obviously want to provide us with a better version of what they went through growing up. They make sacrifices and work as hard as they can to put us through school, the perfect and preferred child is the one who diligently goes through the schooling process and later goes to university and takes on a professional degree...you know become a doctor, lawyer or accountant. Start work and make money, get married have kids and repeat the cycle. This simply cannot be all of what life is made out of.

I believe in passions, I believe in trying things I've never done before, going to different places, meeting different people, because it's in trying things that we get to know what we like and don't like, what we want and dont want.  I also know that we cannot experience every single thing and go to every single place, but to as far as you can help it, go-experience. Don't be afraid of changing your mind, challenge everything, ask why and move fully in the direction you choose.

...What is it?

So the thing is that God fully believes in us, He believes in us because we are made in His image and we have all the qualities to become all that we wanna become, we have all the qualities to be awesome at it. When we continuously give up on things we say that we wanna do, we discredit ourselves to our own selves. We begin to stop believing more and more in our abilities to follow through on a decision, and we get good at that. So the thing is not that we stop being able, we just stop believing and when we stop believing we are pretty much disabled. 

“Goliath was the best thing that ever happened to David” 
― Carla Lynne Hall

Sepedi leleme la geso

I remember being somewhat forced to take Sepedi as a first language when I was in grade 10 when a new law or strong suggestion came to our school encouraging everyone to take their home language as a first language. Change would scare the socks off me, but I know now that it was also my deep desire to keep excelling, maintain the Top10 status, so I was as the front line of the people strongly disagreeing with this. I mean were they crazy?? We were in grade 10, they were planning on shoving grade 1 to grade 9 knowledge  into our heads and I had heard my cousins who did Sepedi complain about how difficult the thing is. 

For me it meant also that I wasn't gonna be a "snob" that all my cousins had labelled me as, I mean over the years I had come to like it. Now me being fluent in my home language in my mind was gonna make me like them, a Sepedi speaking normal black girl in a white school. I tried to fight it at home and my parents were not having it, I was gonna do it. 

Needless to say I had attitude going to that first class, met the teacher who was obviously new to the school, she was such a strong character, scary too but Sepedi was just rolling off her tongue, she made it so desirable but I fought it, I fought the thought that I might possibly like the subject. However being in the competitive state that is high school I desired to be the best in the class even with things I didn't particularly like.

I realise now that I had actually loved Sepedi, I love speaking it now, especially with people who are fluent re bolele le ka diema, direto and the works. It's such a beautiful language and I wanna teach it to my children.

Just 21...

I'm actually pretty annoyed at the fact that when I was 15 years old I had to choose my high school subjects,  I had to decide what career path I would pursue when I turned 17 and went on to University. I'm pretty pissed off that such a heavy, hectic almost life defining decision was expected of my 15 year old self. I barely even knew what I really liked or enjoyed, simply because the discovery of what we like or don't like comes from trying things out. At 15 I hadn't tried enough things. I was even just getting to know my body, so messed up.

Here I am, 21 years old and I hit a light bulb, four years into university I finally feel like I know where I should be headed. WOW!! I felt like I had no clue of who I am because I was so overwhelmed and almost looking to one thing to sort of define my world. It's rather insane, if I'm made in the image of an infinite God it means there's so much to me, I'm 21 years old and I don't have it all figured out and that is so okay. Was chatting with friends and we got to the discovery that one would have to be shallow to have all that there is to them worked out at 21, or can describe themselves in three words, lol. I mean the things that are expected of us really?! So I'm cutting myself some slack, I'm alive and it's an incredible gift and everyday is a discovery, adventure, lesson, everyday we find out a bit more about ourselves.

Waiting...

So I'm reading a book called "Remember the Roses" it's about waiting on God's best, marrying the man of your dreams. I haven't even gotten half way but I'm hectically challenged. The author Lynette Lewis talks about her journey leading to being married only at 40...yup that's right at the big 40. Now we had heard a sermon she gave relating to the same matter. In the sermon I assumed she like didn't date at all leading to dating only the man that she would marry. Okay maybe my thinking was a bit ambitious but I did not expect that she would have gone on 65 blind dates.

I was led to then question what waiting on God means. What does it mean vele? I know it's not passive mara I think it matters what we get busy doing while we waiting. I mean I know that God can take whatever route He wants in teaching lessons and refining our characters and stuff but 65 blind dates? no judgement, but that's just deep.
So the thing is how we do everyday should be led by God, we should at any given moment be busy doing the latest thing He's told us to do, so while we waiting we are busy with that. So maybe we can say waiting on God is doing what He's telling you to do and not moving based on anything else but the voice of God. So if we gonna say Lynette waited on God, we are saying that she heard God before every single date, telling her to go in and then heard God at the end of each one telling her to let go. Hectic!! My mind cant wrap itself around that possibility.

shoo...I'm still chewing on it hey.

Relationship...What an amazing thing God has given us, what a trying thing too.

I'm very conscious of my relationships, I thought it was actually an insecurity but I've come to realize it's actually a blessing. Thing is God requires us to actually decide if we wanna be hot or cold, His friend or not, if you are in between He'll spit you out. Revelations 3:16. God is not interested in a partial commitment, a "let's see where this will take us" kind of arrangement. He wants a willing heart and He also wants the fact that we are willing to be in relationship with Him to translate into our lives, He wants us to demonstrate our feelings with actions. 

This vibe I have about relationships is actually okay. I think it doesn't have to even be awkward or complicated. We should just pursue the people we want to have in our lives, and demonstrate our willingness to have them and communicate with honesty, because little things can become monsters that blow up in our faces decades later. Relationships are just people coming into each others lives, fully.

Hey hey hey

I've been away for a bit, hahaahahah!!! I wish it was an "away" like a holiday or something. Nope! Just away from the blog. I will be resuming my weekly posts going forward :) yay!!!

I read a bbm status that said "I like the way you walk, The way you talk, the way you dress, the way you smile, I like the way you are, the way you ain't. I like your honesty, integrity, it levels me, so please don't ever change" 

I thought, how can we not want people to change? As we go through each day we discover what works and what doesn't and ...well we change. Everyday, at least I think that is what should be happening. That's how growth comes, with the little daily changes.

But I read it over and over and realized well this is in the context of a relationship, even then I thought, couples should keep changing to the better they discover each day. Then I realized change is freaky in a relationship if there is no covenant, because a covenant stays through change, like God's word. So maybe what she meant was "stay in my life" or "don't stray too far from this you that I know"  Because I don't believe that they truly don't want their partner or even themselves to change like ever. "the way you dress" ?! So he must dress this way forever, lol! even "the way you ain't" what if there are things that he needs to start becoming?! 

"I'm doing my best, the best I know now. When I know better, I'll do better"

There's power in what we say.

I'm just amazed at the power of our words. Last year, while I was still Jubilee House committee, I said that I want to do a production, at the time I wanted to organize one for fund raising. I ended up acting and singing in a one larger than I imagined.

My mother told me that when she was young, she said that her children would go to school in town, and this was during the apartheid times, she was rebuked and laughed at by her peers because it was absurd at the time. Would you have it, I was the first of my cousins to go to school in town.

I just love it, when declarations come to pass, it's sooo refreshing!! 

It's crazy because it speaks to trust, it's almost an "oh my soul You came through for me" kind of feeling, maybe there isn't like a lot of doubt but I really long for a kind of faith and trust in God that I will have no hint of shock when He comes through because I would have trusted and believed with all my heart.

Foolish faith..


So I went home for a short while these past holidays. I have a dream to become a famous artist and to no surprise to most black children my parents freaked out when they realized just how serious I was. I expected it but I also expected support. My parents told me stories of artists who have started but weren't successful and stuff, or just people who chose to not go to work, some comments were passed about how my degree would be a waste if I didn't go to work. I mean a lot of hurtful stuff were said and this is by people who are not trying to hurt me at all, it was all so painful and frustrating.


But I realized that I have come a long way with my battle of acceptance, I'm freed from that and over and above everything I know just how badly I want to attain this dream. It stopped being just a cute little fuzzy dream when I realized I dont want to continue a legacy of people who are trapped in a job because of circumstances, my mother doesn't like her job, but she stays in it because it enables her and my dad to provide for our family, which I truly appreciate, but I cannot let it continue on with me. 


I want a legacy of people who take risks and trust God to pull through, a foolish faith kind of life. People who get into burning furnaces because they just refuse to bow to a false god, I want those kind of descendants and it has to start with me, a kind of faith that speaks for itself. So support and all would be great but I need to go through with it with or without support, because I believe that this is where God has called me to serve. I desire to transform secular music because the devil doesn't own anything, I want all music to be back at a place where it honours God, the creator of everything. I'm sick and tired of love songs written from a perverted place. Music permeates, I dream of life being proclaimed, people feeling encouraged, people being affirmed, lives changing for the better every single time the radio is switched on. I'm gonna be foolish about this dream and chase it like I've seen it happen before.

I want to be wanted....(Pushing Limits)

Can't sit around waiting to be swept of my feet

Can't sit around hopeless

I can't wait aimlessly

I desire a love from another like most people do

I also desire to be desired

I deserve it, I'm worth it

So I won't be ashamed or be labeled as weird for not being hit on, on a regular basis

I won't be pushed to settle

I won't stop wanting to be wanted

I do refuse to lay here hopeless

I'd always thought there's something wrong with me

But if you're blind to my greatness then it's not for you

I'd always thought maybe tomorrow

But if it takes many tomorrows for a King to meet his Queen then surely it's worth it

I'm great, it's on you if you don't see it.

G-town Arts Fest Experience

Two months ago I knew very little if anything at all about the National Arts Festival, two months ago I had no idea I loved acting or that I could even do it, two months ago had anyone told me I would be on a national stage in two months time, I would have giggled and said "sure man" 


I'm blown away by how this experience played out. I was performing in a production called "The Falling Truths" as a woman who's husband left to go work in a harsh mine far away from home, leaving her feeling trapped in a rural area. It was quite an experience to be able to live in the characters world, even during rehearsals, wow!!! To own a story and be able to actively tell it.


The biggest thing is the fact that I was a first time actress on a national stage! WOAH!!! It's that whole thing about God listening to our hearts more than the stuff we tern to say! I would never have listed acting as something I would do prior to this experience and now I'm open to try stuff out, PUSH LIMITS!! I did have moments of doubt, moments of feeling as if someone could do it better than I could, those moments were also moments of total surrender for me, moments where I allowed God to fully be God. 


Grahamstown was amazing, a breath of fresh air. It hit me that for what I'm pursuing, that's the kind of life I'm gonna have for a bit, a life on the road. But I loved every single moment, it's crazy! Even the moments I was dead exhausted, I felt like yaaaay!!! I'm tired from doing what I love to do. God gave me more than a glimpse, an experience of a lifetime. Art is a beautiful thing. I'm at a place in my life where I can no longer deny what I want, I cant pretend anymore. One thing left for me to do, going after what I want however way, in whatever form lead my way by God. Praise be to my Lord and buddy Jesus Christ. 

Thorn bush

So I'm at a place in my life where I'm so fussy about value, because the value we place on things or people changes everything. This is not because I got over things or people but because I believe that whatever I'm gonna be a part of needs to be things I'm willing to fight for, as in fight to the core. 


Then I thought about a thorn bush, I think that I need to be willing to crawl through a thorn bush for every single rose even if it's just one. Like everything I choose to do and all the people I choose to have, they need to be a rose worth crawling through a thorn bush for, if they aren't then maybe I need to go back to the drawing board, then maybe I need to check if I should be doing that particular thing. It's passion that drives, because passions are what we are here to do.

google images

Laying my Isaac down

I read a book once called "When I lay my Isaac down" by Carol Kent. She shares her traumatic experience of having to have her only son in jail after he shot his wife's abusive ex husband. I can only imagine that it is a hectic experience for any parent. However the story of Abraham and Isaac is one of a voluntary act, Abraham chose to listen to God, he chose to do so in a very calm situation, no circumstance forced him into it, there is no record of Isaac being sick or anything of the sort, he was willing to give up unto God the most important thing to him.

This is so hectic for me, don't know if I'm there, but I want that level of trust, that kind of attitude that has me valuing He who gives me things more than the actual things.

Dreams or aspirations


What is it about these strong desires to be or to achieve certain things? this "I cant live without" feeling. I think that there is a thin between dreams and aspirations.


So the dictionary definitions are:


Aspirations
  

1. A hope or ambition of achieving something
2. The object of such an ambition; a goal

Dreams

1.  A series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep

So I think that the difference between the two is that with aspiration you are just hoping for something while with dreams you are hoping for something you've actually seen. By seen I mean, mentally experienced as though it were real. Things that are dreams, no one who knows you would be shocked that you have such a desire to be that thing or to go to that place or to do that thing because they've seen it in you, the passion existed before you were ever aware. Dreams are like a part of you and they never leave until you get there (I'll confirm this soon) 

so you need to see it...

I was at an art gallery today as part of a production rehearsal and we saw and experienced some really awesome art pieces. There were a couple of pieces that were tagged "unknown". It seemed like they probably went to some flee market and bought those sculptures and didn't bother with the artist's name. I was moved by that. I felt it wasn't fair, they did all that work and should be acknowledged, especially in an art gallery.


While chatting about our experience of the gallery I was stuck at the ones tagged "unknown", I was almost distracted. Then I thought about how God has this thing He does, He'll like give me material and even give me a design, sometimes even sculpt for me, then He references the piece as mine, then I get all the credit.


Got me thinking, the art that I do should be complete and validated before it is presented to people, it should be whole and lacking nothing, not a comment or compliment. I think this is why God is able to allow us to take the credit for His work, His work is lacking nothing, its whole, its complete in itself.

So this notion that there can never be anymore original thoughts bothers me. I dont believe it. It doesn't make sense to me, like I feel like God doesn't run out, He is infinite.

Then I was led to think about how God would tell me a new thing, as in since everything is supposedly influenced by something else, so if God were to give me a new word for example, he use something that I know so that it makes sense to me.

But I feel like God isn't bound by that little technicality, I have no idea how, and I have no idea how I would understand what it is that He is saying, but I believe that I would...I really sincerely believe that it's still possible, to come up with new stuff, stuff never heard yet, stuff never seen, stuff that's not as a result of an influence...

I just thought about my brother. When my family and I found out he was autistic it literally felt like we had been betrayed. It's insane how God has used that for the good of my family over the years.


My family has gotten closer because we were all so involved in knowing more about this condition and what it is. We've gotten closer with God because we all got to a point of desperation in seeking God and praying for his healing. We moved into a bigger house because the research we did suggested that it would help. We've gotten to mingle with hectic people because of the school he's had to attend. and all these are just a tip of the iceberg...


This thing that seemed like a curse is actually working out for us. I can't really have a conversation with my brother but I am so convinced that he loves God so much and that God speaks to him. He has had times where he's prophesied and the stuff came to pass, its crazy right? the guy barely speaks!! I'm at a place where all I'm seeking for is for God's Kingdom to be advanced, even if it takes me having an autistic brother who will remain autistic. 


God really means it when He says in Romans 8:28 that He makes all things work together for our good.

Ofentse

"Creator of all the earth, the universe in Your hands, still You have time to whisper sweet everythings to me" -Vongani Mhangwane

Take a moment and let that sink in...

In My Head by Sabby

If life could be reduced to a program with 10 steps I wonder where Im at

My mother board fails me sometimes

I loose all the saved files

I loose lessons learnt through experience...

Danger I say, I only end up in the same mess...

Leaves me with no option but to start over

Its never easy, there's always that aspect that I want to ignore

I hit the back button but really just end up in a different kind of mess

I try keep it to myself

But it happens to just get out...

I care a lot I suppose...

I care about what Im thought of

I dont want to care because Jesus set me free

Free from useless and worthless notions

He set me free even from the graves I dig myself...

Oh controller of my natural system...

I see even when Im blind, I hear even when Im deaf, I speak even when Im silent, I have done it even when it remains undone, Its over even when its only beginning.

Oh controller of my natural system...

Let me help you...

Let me decide what is fed to you..

Let me know when its done and when it isnt...

Let me believe the truth and deny that which is not...

Let me exist in reality...

Oh controller of my system..

Let me pull together in happiness, in peace...

Let Jesus take His place...

Oh controller of my system...

I set you free...

I think that the biggest thing is not where we end up, I think what matters most is whether or not people's lives are changed by our presence, wherever that might be. I think we get too caught up in deciding what we should study, where we should end up working more than necessary. The question we really should be asking ourselves is if the kingdom is advancing. The coolest thing is that mistakes in God aren't a big deal. Mistakes, not disobedience, don't get me wrong. As in if I thought that going to Orange Bees was the right thing to do and I went and discovered later that I think I should have gone to Yellow Zebras, I think what matters most is how I touched lives and advanced the Kingdom while I was at Orange Bees, more than the fact that I should be at Yellow Zebras. 

Is the Kingdom of God advancing where I am?

I was just reminded of how much I just hate systems, I cant stand them, I actually feel trapped. Especially the school one, where I have to think like the guy who wrote the text book, a place where I'm basically not allowed to think or create new ways or approaches to things, Its a rule that someone made and it was chosen to be the standard and we keep quite and take it in silence.
I dont believe that I'm born with knowledge but I believe that I'm born with an ability to create, which gets quenched as people grow up. A child in preschool for example if he paints the dog yellow, he is firstly mocked by his peers for being "strange" then encouraged to use browns and blacks by the teacher, because thats how everyone sees the dog to be. From a very young age this child is not encouraged to share his view on the yellow dog, or why he sees it that way, he doesn't have a chance lest he gets out of the box.
I think that we are terrified of difference more than change
I think that we cringe, look down upon, reject and shun difference because we are terrified
We feel safe when things or people are different variations of what we know and have seen before...
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT...DARE TO CREATE...That we will all tap into that element that makes us the people that we are, that thing that make me, me.

God created difference and He likes it, what did we miss???

So I'm almost 21 and I was having a bit of a moment, lol. I was thinking of the many people who've touched my life, so many people who've contributed either their entire lives or a few seconds to my life and just how God has used all of my experiences for my good, wow!!! my life is in His hands. Then I was thinking, my mom wanted to have a traditional 21st for me, as in big white tent in the yard vibe, well more my mom's friend than her, lol. But I said no, I actually just realized that I said no not only because I think its just super ghetto but I also wonder what is there about me to celebrate?! Like I don't feel as though I'm at a place in my life where entire parties should be thrown. God digs me though! He says that I don't have to do anything, He'll throw a feast for me, an entire feast...So Im gonna have a Happy Birthday...

Curled up in a big room by Sabby

Not daring to move more than the involuntary shivers in my body, curled up in a big room, not persuaded by the sounds of my heart that beats violently in my chest, curled up in a big room, not shaken by the echo of my breath as I gasp and take in air to keep the soul in the flesh...curled up in a big room, not questioning the motives of the ones that dare to stand outside and stare into my big room, curled up in a big room I don't attempt to walk, the thought of running is hard to comprehend, curled up in my big room, so much untouched space, so much untried grounds, I have no idea how fertile the grounds are, I have no idea just how far it goes, no idea how loud the echo gets, no idea how much impact in my curled up state I have...

Then He walks in, in to my space and I won't dare look, oh no, lest He rescues me, He walks in, I won't touch Him lest His Spirit crawls into mine, He holds me...for a second I allow a love so peaceful to fill my heart, just for a moment I allow freedom to be in my midst, in my curled up state He picks me up and all He wants is to show me the beauties I've watched others enjoy from the outside, the lovely sounds I've ignored and perhaps was scared of, He says look, look at what I see and I dare look...I look and He changes me for good, and never leaves my side...holding my hand as we explore the big room...a curled up state now unattractive...He showed up...and only His voice could reach my eardrums and only his hand could count as touch and only His eyes could cut right through me leaving me with no more excuses, in my big room He came...He took my hand and changed my life...

I just had one of those evenings where I felt a literal change in my life, like my life is changed. It hit me today more than any other day that I'm surrounded by great people, awesome people, awesome in its true definition, like I'm literally left in awe of just how God is on our side. God is for us. God is making all things work together for our good. There is just no way I'm not great, like I cant not be, no ways!!!

Quotes from a friend's farewell dinner:


"Relationships aren't disposable"

"Freedom makes those without it feel uncomfortable"

"We believe that the truth will be the norm"

"In light of the fact that all things work together for good, its ridiculous that we hesitate"

WOW!!!

Isaiah 40:31

Amplified (AMP)

But those who wait on the Lord (who expect, look for and hope in Him) shall change and renew their strength and power, they shall lift their wings and mount up (close to God) as eagles (mount up to the sun), they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not fain or become tired.

Music to me

When I don’t understand it, I sing it. When it’s too painful to say, I hum it. When I don’t feel like talking, I play it. Music is my big deal. It speaks to me, it’s worth it for me. Music goes to areas words can’t, it speaks in a manner only known by music. Music surprises me sometimes, its diversity and endless variation, it excites me. Music fills the cracks sometimes, eliminates awkward vibes sometimes, and fills a silent room with hope. Music is a voice that can’t be ignored, music is humanity’s common ground. Music unites. Music colours, music are music. music makes sense, MUSIC IS MY BIG DEAL.

-Sabelo Mokgehle-

This is a summary of a book my mother and aunt had me read when I was about 14 years old. It changed my perspective on money in general. lessons I still use today. 

The Richest Man In Babylon

_George S. Clason

 

Like the laws of gravity these laws of money are universal and unchanging.

The man who desired gold

Bansir was a man who lived in Babylon. Babylon was a city with all sorts of people, from stinking rich to the worst pauper. Bansir built chariots for a living, He had a friend named Kobbi who was a musician. Bansir had realise that he had been working hard with no proper reward, he desires to be a man of means, own cattle, land, fine robes and have coins in his purse. The good thing from all that Bansir desired was that he was willing to work hard to acquire them.

Both Bansir and Kobbi had similar problems, their income would never be sufficient and they did not want their children to follow in their footsteps. During a conversation they mentioned that they had been working all their lives and have not acquired gold and they suggested that they should seek help from those that are rich. Arkad, an old friend of theirs helped them realise that a man’s wealth is not measured by the fatness of his purse because a fat purse quickly empties if there is no fixed income to refill it.

Bansir and Kobbi realised that they had been without gold in the midst of plenty and they concluded that the reason they never had gold was that they never sought for it. With new understanding they shall find new ways to acquire the gold they desire.

The richest man in Babylon

Arkad was a man known for his wealth across Babylon and neighbouring cities, his wealth increased every year it appeared as though the more he spends the more his wealth increases. His childhood friends came to him for advice and asked him how he does it as they underwent the same teachings, he never worked harder and was always on the same level as they were. Arkad answered them saying, if you haven’t learnt anything during our youth is because you failed to learn the laws that govern the building of wealth or just haven’t observed them. He went on to say that during his youth he realised that wealth was power and with it a lot of things are possible. He told them that he knew that for that to be acquired time and study was necessary. He said that everybody had time in abundance and that there were two kinds of learning, the one kind being things we learn and know and the other being training that teach us to find out things we don’t know. A man he worked for in his youth advised Arkad and said that he had decided that a part of all he earned was his to keep. That was enough to change the heart of a sheep herder to a money lender.

The man told him that in order to be wealthy he needed to pay himself, by means of saving a tenth of what he earned and not less but rather more if he could afford it. Arkad had managed to save a tenth of his income for twelve months and unfortunately was falsely advised by a brick maker and spent his savings in vain. Advise is freely given away but one should take only what is worth having. Arkad had learnt to live upon less than he could earn, then you learnt to look for advice in the right place and lastly have made your gold work for you. The system is simple: work for gold so that gold may work for you.

Opportunity wastes no time with those who are unprepared. When you set tasks for yourselves you must complete them. Make sure you invest your treasure with greatest caution i.e. plant your seed in a fertile soil that you may reap a great harvest. Ask advice from people who know about money and who know what they are talking about. A small return and a safe one is more desirable than risk. Live life according to your income and never try to save more than you can afford to as this will leave you frustrated.

Navigation By Sabelo Mokgehle

 

So aimlessly she walks about

So effortlessly she manages to get by

Ignorant to the world around her

Easily blow away by the wind of human character

Disappointment, hurt, hate even love...

Easily misled by her apparent experiences and uncovered visions

Lost even with directions, guided by the map in her head

Hands in everything, she is yet to discover who she is...

Anything and everything with God in mind...

She stutters at the questioning of her desires

She knows not what

She knows not how

Anything and everything with God in mind...

She hopes and often prays that somehow it will work out

A vision burns within her...a strong sense of belonging

She begins to question not her fellow man...

She drinks from the Well from which we all draw strength...

She begins to walk with purpose...

Anything and everything with God in mind...

Negative emotions now lessons...

Head held high, who she is called to be begins to surface...

What she loves, she now is aware

Still work in progress...Oh what safe hands she's in...

Anything and everything with God in mind...

Worship...

YOU ARE SPECIAL

my friend Rebby was like "This "everyone is special" talk has been watered down" I couldn't agree with her more. I mean there has even been some notions that if we are all special then that means we aren't really. Lauryn Hill in her Unplugged talks about how she doesn't believe that it's possible that an infinite God who created everyone to be different would expect everyone to be the same. I looooove that.


God created variety and He can't run out of ideas because He is infinite (((BOOM))), so we have really down played the the truth that is in the statement "you are special" It's loaded with soooo much truth. We really are, don't know much Biology but Rebby is like "you are one out of a million variations of kids your parents could have conceived" so like seriously. God talks about knowing us before we were even conceived bra, how hectic is that?? need I say more!? You are special, believe it and make it yours

On a show Oprah did of twin girls who were molested close to everyday for almost 7 years by their father and brothers, she defined forgiveness as: letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different. jooo!!! makes a lot of sense, the bitterness and resentment comes from that hope, the continuous feeling that the people who've wronged us could have been different people or they could have acted differently or treated us differently, that hope is the issue. Then she went on to say that it doesn't mean you have to allow the people back into your life or that you now have to be friends.

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I guess we are at a place were we've truly forgiven when the people or situation no longer has a baring over our lives, when we no longer make decisions from that place of hurt or whatever other negative emotions the situation brings in us, true forgiveness is when we are free from the past.

I found this to be very interesting.

For Limp or Fine Hair

To add body to hair, reach for an unlikely beauty beverage: beer! The fermented drink contains generous supplies of yeast, which works to plump tired tresses, explains Cox.

To Use: Mix 1/2 cup flat beer (pour beer into a container and let it sit out for a couple of hours to deplete carbonation) with 1 tsp light oil (sunflower or canola) and a raw egg. Apply to clean, damp hair, let sit for 15 minutes, then rinse with cool water. Or add flat beer only to a spray bottle and spritz onto dry hair. "When the liquid evaporates, the remaining protein residue (from the wheat, malt or hops) continues to strengthen and structure hair," says Belkin. Treatments can be applied every other week.

Photo by Shutterstock.

Read more: Homemade Hair Treatments - At Home DIY Hair Treatments - Woman's Day 

So this "The Hunger Games" movie got me thinking. How insane do I need to be with the person that I am, that when death is staring me in the face all I care about is protecting that??? Just how mad do I need to be with the person that I am?? wow!!! 
I mean this means I should absolutely be cray cray about myself, my morals, my values, my choices, I need to be mad about myself.